Kim Impossible To Execute My Failures
by ChefTeslaCoil
Summary: Here are some of the ideas that just didn't fly...
1. Default Chapter

I have decided to throw my rejected ideas into one big pile and call it a fanfic.  Think of it as the "Bonus Features" on a DVD.  It's boring but you watch it anyway.

Kim Possible Ten Years Later: 

Apocalypse Now… Questions Later

The First Chapter

            The scene opens on halted rush hour traffic.  The camera pans around and shows some cars until it finds one car.  It zooms in on it and we can see Kim driving and Ron ridding.

            Inside the car.

Ron:  Thanks for the ride, KP.  I can't believe someone stole my car!

Kim:  No big… I just can't believe how slow this traffic is moving!  Ron, can you see what's blocking traffic from your side?

            Ron sticks his head out the window.

            From Ron's point of view we can see someone far up the road dancing around like an idiot.  Cops are trying to wrangle him.  Ron leans back inside.

Ron:  Some crazy guy.  Starved for attention I guess.

Kim:  Yeah.  I think there is a mental institution around here.

            The roof of the car suddenly dents in and the roar of crunching metal can be heard.

Kim:  What was that?

            Kim gets out of the car and looks at the roof.

Kim:  Oh great!  It's like someone used my car as a trampoline!

            Kim looks around and notices several cars have their roofs dented.  The cars form a line from one side of the road to the other.

            Kim gets back inside.

Kim:  There has got to be a mental institution around here somewhere!  If I ever find who did this to my car I am going to…

            The car behind Kim's honks their car.

Kim:  Shut up!  I'm not the only one going slow!

Ron:  Kim, settle down.  No one likes to be around you when you get your road rage going on.

Kim:  You want some of this?

Ron:  No.

            Several hours later at the financial office of Mega Bank.

            Cut to the elevator doors.  They open to reveal Kim and Ron.

Kim:  That took way to long!

Ron:  Tell me about it!  Being with you for four hours!

            Kim gives Ron a look.

Ron:  Better get to work!

            Ron runs off camera.  Kim walks to her office and sits down at her computer.  Suddenly the Kimmunicator rings.

Kim:  No.  This better be something easy.

            Kim answers the Kimmunicator.

Kim:  What's going down, Wade?

Wade:  Oh nothing… Except Drakken is slowly ushering in the end of humanity as we know it!

Kim:  Is that all?

Wade:  This is serious, Kim!  Somehow Drakken erected an impenetrable energy field around the Club Banana H.Q. down on 5th street!

Kim:  5th street?  Ron and I were just there!  I don't remember anything weird happening… except someone tried to use my car as a stepping stone…

Wade:  Yeah… But listen to Drakken's ultimatum!

            Wade's face is replaced with Drakken's.

Drakken:  Hello, world… Remember me?  I had just recently tried to destroy the earth with a giant laser pointed at the moon.  Doesn't ring a bell, eh?  Well… I'm back!  Same scheme, too.  But with a twist!  I have developed a tractor beam so precise that I can control which city I want the moon rocks to hit.  So, unless you want a lunar licking I suggest you hand over complete control of the world to me!  I think I may just give you a little sample…  Heads up, California!

            Drakken's face is replaced with Wade's again.

Wade:  This is a total disaster!  Check this latest satellite photo of the moon.

            On the screen is a picture of the moon.  But a chunk of it is cut out and being pulled towards the earth by a green beam.

Kim:  But how?  I thought Drakken was in prison!

Wade:  That's the thing, Kim.  He _is_ still in that prison.  No reports of a break out.  He is even on the security cameras.

Kim:  It can't be!  Patch me in to Drakken's cell… I want to make sure.

Drakken:  Hello?

Kim:  Dr. Drakken?

Drakken:  Yes.  Who is this?

Kim:  It's Kim.

Drakken:  Kim Personal!

Kim:  Hey.  You remembered the name change.

Drakken:  What do you want?

Kim:  Well… It seems you are about to destroy California with a big chunk of the moon.

Drakken:  Really?  Good for me.  (Beat)  Wait a second!  I'm not doing that!  I'm in prison!  I don't need your prank calls, Kimberly!

            Drakken hangs up.

Kim:  This doesn't make any sense!  It makes less sense than "Vanilla Sky"!

Wade:  Nothing can make less sense than "Vanilla Sky", Kim.

Kim:  So what do we do?

Wade:  Well.  That energy field is, in fact, impenetrable… and we only have about an hour before the moon chunk hits California…

Kim:  This doesn't sound like the makings of a plan…

Wade:  There really is only one course of action… Your father has been working on something at the space center that should help you out.

Kim:  What?

Wade:  Sorry, Kim.  I'm sworn to secrecy.  Better get moving.

            The Kimmunicator turns off.  Kim exists her office quickly.  She makes her way to the elevator.

Kim:  Ron!  Come with me!

            Ron runs to Kim and they get in the elevator.

Ron:  What's up, Kim?

            The elevator doors close.

            Cut to the outside of Mega Bank.  Kim and Ron come out to the street.

Ron:  That doesn't make any sense!  It makes less sense than "Vanilla Sky"!  I take that back… nothing can make less sense than "Vanilla Sky".

Kim:  Yeah!  Well, we gotta hurry!

            Kim and Ron get in Kim's car.  It speeds off.

            Cut to the inside of the Space Center.  Kim, Ron, and father Dr. Possible are walking along in a hallway.

Dr. Possible:  I'm sorry, Kim.  But that doesn't make a lot of sense.  It makes less sense than, "Total Recall".

Ron:  "Total Recall" made perfect sense!

Dr. Possible:  Yeah.  After you watch it 20 times.

            They come to a security checkpoint.  There is a huge metal door.  Dr. Possible slides a card through the card reader.  The door opens.  They continue walking.

Kim:  So what is this top secret project?

Dr. Possible:  I'll let the project leader handle that.

Ron:  Who's the leader?

            They come to another checkpoint.  Dr. P. slides the card through the reader and the door opens to reveal Dr. Fen.

Kim:  Dr. Fen?

Dr. Fen:  Hello, Kim!  I'm happy to see you after all this time!

Ron:  Happy?  She exposed you as a fraud!  She foiled your plot for revenge!  How can you be happy?

Dr. Fen:  Because without Kim I would have never found the field I am actually an expert in… Temporal science!

Ron:  What science?

Dr. Fen:  Temporal Science.  Time travel…

Kim:  Time travel, eh?

Ron:  Time travel!  We have to travel through time?  But I don't want to!

Kim:  Apparently it's the only way…

Ron:  But remember what happened to me last time we traveled through time?

            Ron's eyes move to the corner.  The screen gets all wavy to connote a flashback.  In it we see Ron sitting at a bar with a drunk Josef Stalin.

Stalin:  This guy!  I love this guy!  And you know what that means!

Ron:  What?

Stalin:  I have to kill you!

            Stalin reacts to something off screen.

Stalin:  You want some of this?

            Stalin tries to get off the stool but falls off.

Stalin:  Little help…

            Ron looks down at Stalin and back up.  Suddenly Ron points off screen.

Ron:  Hey, Hitler!  I thought I told you no tap-dancing on the bar!

            We hear a crash.

Hitler (O/S):  Little help…

            Cut back to reality.

Kim:  You wouldn't keep having that problem if you'd stop taking people to bars!

Ron:  Never thought of it that way…  But time travel, Kim!  We don't even know when and where to go!

Dr. Fen:  That shouldn't be a problem.  You can be teleported anywhere within a 20 mile radius from here.  And you can travel back in time only one week.

Kim:  Is it safe?

Dr. Fen:  Perfectly safe!  The only problem we ever had was that you will come out the other end without clothes.

Ron:  Without clothes?  Shouldn't be a problem for Rufus.

Dr. Fen:  Don't worry.  We fixed that anomaly weeks ago.

            Ron looks Kim over from head to toe.

Ron:  (Dejected)  Great…  We get to keep our clothes…

Dr Possible:  (Clears throat)

Ron:  I think we should get time traveling.

            Dr. P. looks at his watch.

Dr. Possible:  Whoa!  Better get going.

Ron:  Where?

Dr. Possible:  I have to go set up the next launch.

Kim:  Launch for what?  Part of the moon is about hit California.

Dr. Possible:  That's what it's about.  We are going to send up some astronauts with a bunch of rockets and try and fly it away from the Earth.  Now I really have to be going.

            Dr. P. walks away.

Kim:  So where is the time machine, Fen?

Fen:  It's behind this curtain.

            Fen reaches over and pulls the curtain off of something to reveal a large metal sphere thing.

Ron:  Cool.  But why a large metal sphere thing?

Fen:  After years of extensive research we concluded that the sphere is the most sci-fi like shape!  Now if you'll just put your hands on the sphere we can send you back.

            Kim and Ron put their hands on the sphere.  Fen pulls some huge lever and the sphere starts to glow.  Sparks engulf the two and they disappear.

Fen:  Hmm.  It actually worked.

            Cut to Drakken's cell.  He hears foot steps.

Drakken:  Oh great… It better not be that Clarice again!  I can't stand the way she talks!

            Drakken stands up to face the hallway.  The footsteps grow louder.  Finally Shego walks into view.

Drakken:  Shego?  Aren't you in prison!

Shego:  Yeah.  But I broke out.

Drakken:  Good… How's about breakin' me out, too?

Shego:  Okay.

            Shego breaks the bars with her glowing glove power.

Drakken:  That is one handy pair of gloves!

Shego:  We don't have to time to talk, Drakken!  I'll explain on the way.

Drakken:  Way to where?

            Shego tosses a small metallic ball towards Drakken.  He catches it.  Sparks fly from it and he disappears.  Shego holds up another metallic ball and it shoots sparks around her and she disappears.

The Confusing Act I Ending!

(Does "Vanilla Sky" make sense to anyone?)


	2. Part of the Second part of my third part

Kim Possible Slightly Less Than Ten Years Later

Disclaimer:  Keep in mind that I have written this while drugged up on pain medications due to the recent removal of my wisdom teeth…

Double Disclaimer:  Time travel is a dangerous proposition and should not be attempted by anyone unless under scientist supervision.  Thank you.

Chapter 2 starts now!  (Or Act II)

            The scene opens on an old west town.  Carriages and old timely dressed people inhabit the streets.  Sparks buzz from the ground and Kim and Ron appear.  Ron looks around.

Ron:  This… this is the old west!

Kim:  Dr. Fen's machine didn't work?

            Suddenly a car drives down the road.  It honks at the pedestrians and they flip him the bird.

Ron:  A car?  In the old west?

            Kim squints and reads something on the car.

Kim:  Hmm… A 2017 model Honda… classy.

Ron:  2017?  Isn't that the new Honda where they brought back the hatch-back!?

Kim:  Yeah.

Ron:  But that's just a concept car!  Are we in the future or the past?!

            Some guy wearing a hat walks up to them.

Guy:  It's both!

Ron:  I'm confused.

Guy:  This is Westworld!  The place where technology and the past meet!

Kim:  Westworld?  Wasn't that a movie back in the 70's?

Guy:  Yes.  And we decided to make it an amusement park.  Complete with life-like robot westerners.

Ron:  But didn't everyone get killed robots in the movie.

Guy:  Yeah.  That's what made a popular movie.  And that's why it's a popular amusement park… it's the danger…

Ron:  But wouldn't people want to avoid this place if there is a chance they can be killed by robots?

Guy:  There aren't any robots.

Ron:  Excuse me?

Guy:  The westerners are actors playing robots who are designed to be westerners.

Ron:  So then how come this is the place where technology and the past meet?

Guy:  Because we have robots.

Ron:  But there aren't any robots!

Guy:  Yes there is!  They just aren't robots!

            Ron starts to freak out.

Ron:  I can't take this, Kim!  Let's get outta here.

            Cut to the outside of Westworld.

Ron:  Okay, Kim.  We better get to work!  So how do we stop Drakken?

Kim:  We… (beat) I don't know…

Ron:  What?

Kim:  We never had a plan… We just sorta traveled through time…

Ron:  So now what?

Kim:  I don't know…

Ron:  Wait a second… I have an idea.

            On the screen the text, "One Week Later" is shown.  We are back in the science lab.  Fen is standing beside the time machine.

Fen:  It actually worked!  Didn't see that coming…

            Kim and Ron show up.

Kim:  Fen!  We have a problem!

Fen:  Kim?  Did the time machine not work!

Kim:  It worked… but we forgot to have a plan.

Fen:  I thought the plan was to stop Dr. Drakken.

Ron:  That's genius, Fen!  Back to the past!

            Ron puts his hands on the sphere and disappears.  Moments later Ron walks in through the entrance.

Ron:  Not such a good plan, Fen.  Not very detailed.

Fen:  All you have to do is stop him from building that tractor beam thing.

Kim:  But how?

Fen:  Look, the plan isn't my job.  I just send you back in time.  Which reminds me…

            Fen pulls out a pamphlet and hands it to Kim.

Kim:  (Reading pamphlet)  "So you're traveling back in time:  What to do and not do in the past"  (Looks up)  Cute…

Fen:  It basically tells you how to keep from destroying the fabric of time.

            Ron looks at the pamphlet and opens it.  Things pop-out.

Ron:  Oh!  It's a pop-up pamphlet!

Fen:  Yes.  And on the back there is a small maze you can complete with crayons…

            Kim stares at Fen

Fen:  The people who make place mats for Denny's made the pamphlet…

            Suddenly the Kimmunicator beeps.

Kim:  How'd you know I was in the present?

Wade:  Kim, through the Kimmunicator I know things about you you don't even know.

Kim:  Um… So why'd you call?

Wade:  It seems Drakken escaped from prison.

Kim:  Really?  How?

Wade:  Security footage shows Shego breaking him out.

Kim:  It's always Shego.


	3. Fourth Failed Fanfic: Change of Space

This could still work with a lot of tweaking.

Change Of Space Ch. 1

            The scene opens in Drakken's lair.  Drakken is sitting in a chair with an envelope.  Across from him is an empty chair.  He turns around.

Drakken:  Shego!  Where are you?

            He turns back around and sees Shego in the chair next to him.

Drakken:  Ah… Oh, it's you.

Shego:  What do you want?

Drakken:  I hold in my hand the final envelope…

Shego:  Of what?

Drakken:  The envelope I have been hoping for for weeks!

Shego:  Have you been accepted to clown college?

Drakken:  Clown college?  Is that the best you got?

Shego:  It's early…

Drakken:  True.  But in this envelope is the single most important thing to me, ever!

Shego:  I don't know Dr. D.  Doesn't seem big enough for a brain.

Drakken:  I already have a brain!  The most awesomest brain in the world.

Shego:  Sure.  Just repeat that to yourself and it will become true.

Drakken:  Enough.  This is an envelope from the "Trading Lairs" television show.

Shego:  "Trading Lairs"?  That show where villains trade lairs and try to take over the world with the other's henchmen and gadgets?

Drakken:  That's the one!

Shego:  Isn't that show mostly for… women?

Drakken:  I don't recall it being only for women.

            Shego turns on a T.V.  On it is the text, "Women T.V.  Television for Women… and only Women!"  Then a female announcer starts talking.

Announcer:  Welcome back to Women T.V.  Television that only women can handle and no self-respecting man would watch.  Coming up next, "Trading Lairs"

            Shego turns off the T.V. and is smiling.

Drakken:  Argh!  So I watch T.V. meant for women!  The important thing is that this might be the best chance to take over the world!  Inside the envelope is the name of the person the trade is taking place with.

            Drakken opens the envelope and reads.

Drakken:  My… this person sounds like he should have an impressive lair.

Shego:  Who is it?

            Drakken hands Shego the letter.

Shego:  Oh wow!

Drakken:  Yes!  Now If you'll excuse me, I have to get going.

Shego:  You mean we?

Drakken:  No.  Just me.  You get to work for him for a while.

Shego:  Hmm… I guess I could use a vacation from you.

Drakken:  I can sure use a vacation from you!

Shego:  Well have fun on your trip!

            Drakken picks up a suitcase and walks away.

Shego:  Now to wait for the new guy.

            Several hours pass.

            The doorbell rings.

Shego:  That's him now!  I wonder what he looks like.

            Cut to the door.  Drakken opens it.  Frugal Lucre steps through the door.

Frugal:  Greetings, underling!  I am Frugal Lucre!

            Frugal looks around.  He sees all the gadgets and the lab and everything.

Frugal:  Giant lasers!  Henchmen!  A huge lair!  A green woman!  It's just as I had imagined it!  This is perfect!  I finally get to live out my dream!

Shego:  Which is?

Frugal:  Revenge against Kim Possible!

Shego:  Kim Possible?

Frugal:  Yes!  She foiled my plans once!  But now we are playing a new game!  Now if you'll excuse me… where's the bathroom?

            Shego points off screen.

Frugal:  Thank you!  It was a long trip and the bus didn't have bathrooms!

            Frugal runs off camera.

Shego:  Bus?  What kind of villain takes the bus?

            Cut to the hallway of Middleton High.  Kim and Ron are at Kim's locker.

Ron:  Come on, Kim!  It'll be fun!  It'll be a grand time had by all!

Kim:  Grand time?  That's what you said when you talked me into doing that commercial!

            Kim's eyes move to the upper corner.  The screen gets all wavy to connote a flash back.  In it is Kim strapped to a giant metal table with a laser slowly creeping up to her.  Next to her is Lucky the leprechaun wearing a sinister smile.

Kim:  So, Lucky.  Do you really expect me to talk?

Lucky:  No, Miss Possible… I expect you to be turned into a marshmallow!

            The laser suddenly hits Kim and she is turned into a small marshmallow.  Lucky starts to laugh an evil laugh.  Then the announcer speaks.

Announcer:  Now for a limited time Kim Possible marshmallows are in Luck Charms…

            Cut back to Kim and Ron.

Kim:  They portrayed me being bested by a leprechaun!

Ron:  Yeah… But in the next commercial they portrayed me beating him up and saving you!

Kim:  Fair enough.  But for six months I had to wake up everyday to a heaping bowl of me!  Do you know what that's like?

Ron:  Yeah… but then this doctor gave me some pills...  But come on!  The show "False Pretence" wants me to be on it!  It will be so cool!  You have to teach me to be a super hero in 48 hours!  Then a group of judges will evaluate my performance and guess if I'm an actual hero or not!  It'll be awesome!  You could very well say it will be Jawesome!

Kim:  Jawesome?  What does that mean?

Ron:  What doesn't it mean?

Kim:  You don't know what it means, do you?

Ron:  …No.  But it has to be good!

Kim:  Fine… I'll do it… Just as long as it doesn't involve me in marshmallow form.

Ron:  It won't… I think.

            Wade shows up on that big computer thing in Kim's locker.

Kim:  Whadup Wade?  What are the villains doing this time?

Wade:  Nothing.  Jeez, can't I just call to talk?

Kim:  Yeah… I guess…

Wade:  So what's new?

Kim:  Not much… except I have to teach Ron to be a super hero in 48 hours…

Wade:  Really?  Can I help out?

Kim:  You know it!

Ron:  Enough talk!  When does my training start?

Kim:  So you don't actually have to be a hero, right?  You just have to convince some judges you're hero?

Ron:  Yeah… that's what I said.

Kim: Well then!  Training can start right now!

Ron::  So where do we start?

Kim:  I call this one "Carry Kim's Stuff"

            Kim gives Ron her backpack.  Kim walks away and Ron follows.

Ron:  I don't see how this helps me.

Kim:  I'm your friend so helping me carry my stuff is helping you…

Ron:  I'm not buying it.

Kim:  Just carry my stuff, hero boy.

            Cut to Drakken's lair.  Frugal Lucre and Shego are standing in a lab.  Frugal is looking around.

Frugal:  Yes… Look at all these evil appliances!  How come this Drakken fellow hasn't taken over the world yet?

Shego:  You see… The thing about Drakken is… he's an idiot.

Frugal:  I can tell… He fell for my fake letter.

            Lucre catches what he said and covers his mouth.

Shego:  Fake letter?

Frugal:  Well… you know that letter your friend Drakken got?

Shego:  He's not my "friend"!  And the letter was fake?

            Shego is smiling.

Shego:  So if you got this lair.  What did he get?

Frugal:  My mother's basement!  And a job at Smarty Mart!

            Shego starts laughing

Shego:  A basement!  And a job at Smarty Mart?  I got to hand it you ya, Lucre!  You are one evil guy!  Ha!  A basement!  I can just see Drakken!  He's going to be like…

            Cut to the basement.  Drakken is standing by a workbench.

Drakken:  This isn't a lair!  It's a basement!  Argh… It's slipshod is what it is!  There's nothing here to work with!

            Drakken sees something off camera.

Drakken:  What's this?

            He grabs it.  It is a letter and he reads it.

Drakken:  "Dear Mr. Drakken…"  (Looks up from paper)  That's Doctor Drakken!  (Continues) "…The letter you received was fake.  But don't you worry.  I'm sure you will find something you can take over the world with… Laugh laugh laugh…"

Drakken:  He wrote in the laughter?  That's so evil!

            Suddenly Mrs. Lurman walks down the steps


	4. Treatment that didn't work out

The Treatment for Kim Possible: "Psych!"

Treatment I just didn't think would make a good episode.

COLD OPEN

INT. Middleton High Gym – Day

     Starts out with the cheerleaders doing some cheer stuff.  Kim is critiquing everyone including Bonnie, who doesn't like it.  The critiquing continues and Bonnie finally gets fed up and says she is going to quit cheer squad.

END COLD OPEN

INT.  Possible's Living Room – Night 

     Kim is talking to Ron.  Kim talks about how she needs to get the best performance out of the girls.  Ron gives an "Ahem" in reference to the "girls" comment.  Dr. Dave comes on and Ron becomes pre-occupied with it.  Kim continues to talk without noticing Ron is to busy watching T.V.  Kim explains her actions and Ron just says vague things.  Ron says he wishes he could get Dr. Dave's autograph because it must be worth some money.  This comment causes Kim to notice Ron isn't paying attention and leaves for her Room.  Ron remains transfixed on the T.V.  Kim's mom shows up and says, "Hey, Dr. Dave.  I love Dr. Dave" and sits down to watch.

INT.  Kim's Room – Night

     Kim tries to call Bonnie and she picks up.  Kim begins to talk but Bonnie interrupts and pretends she is her mother.  Kim asks if Bonnie is there.  Bonne replies, "No, she isn't home.  And she isn't going to ever be at home."  Kim says thanks and bye and hangs up.

SAME

     Monique calls.  Monique wants to see what's up.  Kim is glad that there is someone to talk to who isn't watching Dr. Dave.  Monique forgot that Dr. Dave was on so she quickly turns on a T.V.  It's an episode she's already seen.  Kim gets annoyed.  She asks what she is supposed to do with the Bonnie situation.  Monique says to talk to Bonnie at school.  It's harder to be ignored then.

INT.  Possible's Living Room - Night

     Ron and Mrs. Possible are still watching Dr. Dave.  Mrs. Possible has to leave the room for some reason.  Dr. Dave tells that he is looking for new people to be on his show… Ron does some thinking.  (Throw in a little Rufus action)

INT.  Kim's Locker – Day

     Kim is at her locker and Bonnie walks by.  Kim stops her and begins to explain herself.  Bonnie will listen because secretly she doesn't want to be off the team.  But before Kim can say anything meaningful Ron interjects.  Ron explains that he notices some animosity between Kim and Bonnie and that he has the perfect solution.  Kim tries to explain she doesn't need it but can't.  Ron says that they are going to be on Dr. Dave's show!  He shows them the passes.  Kim says, "Could this get any worse?"

INT.  Dr. Dave's Studio – Day

     A shadowed figure sits in a chair watching all daytime T.V. people on many different TV's.  On one of them is Dr. Dave.  The shadowed figure says, "Yes… Talk away.  Soon it will all be mine!  (Evil Laughter)"

End Act I

INT. Limousine – Day

     Kim, Bonnie, Dr. Dad, and Dr. Mom are in a limousine that is headed to the set of Dr. Dave.  They are all dressed in their "Sunday Best."  Kim and Bonnie are sitting rather far apart.  Kim again tries to talk to Bonnie and again is interrupted by Ron.  He proclaims his excitement about having Kim and Bonnie's problem solved by Dr. Dave.  Plus he can get an autograph and sell it.  Bonnie says she is coming to be on T.V. and doesn't care about what some T.V. psychologist has to say.  Dr. Possible (Dad) expresses his dislike for "psych majors."  Ron points out that they have arrived at the studio lot.

EXT. Studio Lot – Day

The studio lot is like any other studio lot.  It has all the buildings and such you would expect.  Producers and important people scurry between sets with their Segways.  The limousine is parked near the entrance of Dr. Dave's studio and everyone is walking towards the door commenting on it.  The Dr. Dave studio has all sorts of statues and paintings and other odd decorations dedicated to him around it.  All the adornments make it really stand out.  It has a lair feeling to it.  Kim says, "Is it normal to build statues of yourself?"  Ron says, "I'm sure that once you meet him you will find he is perfectly normal."  

INT.  Dr. Dave Set – Day

     The set of Dr. Dave is a coliseum festooned with self-portraits.  Kim, Ron, and Bonnie, are sitting in cheep chairs on the stage.  Dr. Dave is sitting in his throne next to them.  The Dr. Dave theme song plays and Dr. Dave sings his own made up words, "I'm Dr. Dave!  Love me!"  The theme then ends.  Dr. Dave introduces everyone.  He explains about how Ron sent in a letter that was very touching.  He asks Ron to read it.  Ron reads the first lines which are, "Dear Dr. Dave.  I think you are the greatest.  But my friends Kim and Bonnie have a problem."  Dave cuts him off asking him to repeat.  Ron reads the compliment part again.  Dave inquires as to what he thinks is the greatest part of him.  This continues for a while.  Dave then decides to solve their problem. Kim points out that they haven't mentioned the problem yet.  He throws out some down home nonsense that doesn't quiet make sense.  He then begins to plug his books.  Explaining that they will solve the problem.  Suddenly the Kimmunicator goes off.  Kim answers telling Wade to hold on.  Kim excuses herself and haste fully walks off screen.  But before she can do so Bonnie tells her to take her with her.  She would rather go with Kim than listen to this Dave guy any longer.

INT.  Back Stage – Day

     The back stage is a dark and desolate jungle of cables and electronics.  Bonnie expresses her relief from getting away from Dr. Dave.  Kim turns the Kimmunicator back on to further their discussion.  Wade explains that the set of Adroit Thoughtwell has been robbed.  Kim asks what did they steal.  Wade exclaims they stole Adroit Thoughtwell!  Kim concludes she would rather investigate than stay here.  She asks were is the set.  It's right next door.  She has to go get Ron.  She looks out a door towards the stage to see Ron.

INT.  Dr. Dave Set – Day

     Dr. Dave says some other down home thing.  Ron Expresses that that is so true.  He quickly asks for Dr. Dave's autograph.  Dave refuses and continues talking.

INT.  Back Stage – Day

     Kim realizes Ron is busy.  So she has to go alone.  Bonnie doesn't want to go back on stage and reluctantly wants to go with Kim.

INT.  Set of Adroit Thoughtwell – Day

     Kim and Bonnie walk in through the back exit.  A stage hand runs up to them.  She expresses the information that Adroit Thoughtwell has been kidnapped.  Kim investigates.  Bonnie would rather just wait in the corner.  Kim looks around and then calls Wade.  Kim tells Wade to look at security footage.  There is no security footage but there is footage from the show.  On the show we see Adroit Thoughtwell explaining how to you can make trans-vectional hydrostatic relay station with items you can find in your kitchen.  She points out that the kids will love it.  She notices something off camera and screams.  A shadowed figure breaks the camera.  Kim says that video doesn't help.  Wade interrupt s with even more urgent news.  Other daytime T.V. stars have been kidnapped.  The only one left is Dr. Dave.  Kim realizes she must go save Dr. Dave.

INT.  Set Of Dr. Dave – Day

     Kim and Bonnie rush on the stage.  Kim tells Dr. Dave he is in trouble.  He says they should talk off-stage.

INT.  Backstage – Day

     Kim tells Dr. Dave what is happening.  And she says that she believes Dave is the one kidnapping the day-time stars.  Suddenly the same shadowed figure from the Thoughtwell tape drops in from the ceiling behind Kim, Bonnie and Ron.  Dave points at him and says, "If I'm kidnapping stars than who is that!?"  Kim says to run.  They evade the figure and when he is out of sight Dave says he knows a good place to hide out.  He leads them there.

INT.  Storage Garage – Day

     The garage is darkly lit.  You can barely see anything.  Ron wonders if this is really that safe.  All of them except Dave are jumped by shadowed figures.  They are locked up with chains.  (The lock is a combination lock)  The lights slowly brighten.  Revealing the storage garage to be a large cavern of metal walls.  Random tools and equipment inhabit this place.  As a fine garnish to the junk is all of the daytime stars tied up and gagged.  Kim, Ron, and Bonnie are thrown to the floor. The shadowed figure is revealed to be one of Dave's interns.  Dr. Dave explains his plan.  He has over 90% of the ratings.  But that is not enough.  He needs one hundred percent!  Everyone must love him!  Ron whispers that he is going to use reverse psychology to get them out of here.  He says, "Locking people in a closet?  That isn't very manly of you."  Dave replies, "I'm plenty manly.  (Turns to interns) Not let's go get some make-up on me so I look pretty for the cameras."  Dave and his interns leave for the dressing room and shut the door.  Ron says, "Well, Kim.  You were right that Dave was the villain."  Kim answers with an un-enthusiastic, "Yay."

End Act II

Same

     They struggle to get their chains off.  Rufus can't chew through the chains.  Ron asks why doesn't Kim use some of her gadgets.  She didn't bring any.  Rufus looks around and spots something.  He runs over to it and brings it back.  It is a stethoscope.  He uses it to crack the code on Kim's lock.  He then does all the other locks.  The only problem is that there is still a giant metal door keeping them in.  Kim asks Wade for advice but he doesn't have any.  But Adroit Thoughtwell has an idea.  She points out they have a whole garage full of stuff.  So they build a pneumatic jack out of the things they find.  They set it up and turn it on.

INT.  Hallway Outside of Garage – Day

     Dr. Dave walks out of a his dressing room along with several of his interns.  Suddenly the door to the garage blows out and Kim, Ron and Bonnie run out.  Dave runs away.  Kim chases after him and tells Ron to handle the interns.  The interns look tough and menacing and slowly advance on Ron and Bonnie while wielding manila folders as weapons.  Ron takes a Karate stance and says, "Careful, I know Karate!"  Bonnie says, "You do?" to which Ron replies, "I know how to pronounce it.  That's gotta count for something!"  Dave runs out of sight and when he's gone the interns relax and say they don't want to fight and that they hate Dr. Dave.  One of them points out that Dave is really paranoid.  He actually locks the main exit so people don't leave in the middle of a show.

EXT.  Studio Lot – Day

     Dr. Dave bursts out of an emergency exit onto the studio lot.  He sees two studio people riding by on their Segways.  They are talking about something entertaining.  Dave runs up to them and takes one of their Segways and speeds off.  Kim runs to the other guy and takes his Segway.  She asks if she can borrow his (beat) thing and speeds off while saying, "Please and thank you".  The studio people say "Great!  Now we have to use our legs!  Man, this is terrible!"  Kim and Dave are having a full blown chase.  There are fruit venders and cardboard boxes.  Many turns and twists.  Kim sees people walking who are passing her and she decides to jump off and run after Dave.  Dave sees this and jumps off, too.  He runs back to the side exit of his studio and;

INT.  Set Of Dr. Dave – Day

out on stage.  He throws a chair at Kim.  The audience is stunned.  There is some small amounts of fighting.  Dave tells the producer to stop filming.  The producer quietly motions to keep rolling and record this "gold."  We see numerous people watching this on T.V. and are shocked.  Dave makes a run for the main exit.  Some of the interns point out again that it's locked.  Dave continues to run for the main exit with Kim right on his tail.  Just before he should hit the door he suddenly falls.  We find out that Dr. Possible (Dad) has just tripped him.  He says, "I don't much care for 'Psych Majors.'"  A bunch of cops show up and lead him out of the studio.  Dr. Dad Possible and Dr. Mom Possible follow them outside.  Kim, Ron, and Bonnie are standing around.  Kim tells Ron he should go get an autograph now.  Ron realizes that if Dave is in prison his autograph will be worth more and he rushes off screen.  Kim turns to Bonnie and says, "Can we talk?"

EXT. Studio Lot – Day

     There is a squad car out side the main entrance.  People are gathered around watching.  Including Kim's parents.  Dr. Possible (Dad) says that you can never trust a doctor.  Mom comments on that comment.  Ron rushes over to the back of the squad car and talks to Dave.  He asks for a favor.  Dave tells him to go away.  He asks for an autograph.  After a beat Dave asks if Ron has a pen.

INT.  Middleton High Gym – Day

     Bonnie is back on the team.  Ron says that Dr. Dave at least solved their problem.  Kim replies that Bonnie is back because she talked to her.  You can't expect to solve your life's problems on a 20 minute segment on some guys show.  Ron points out he did get an autograph.  He pulls up his sleeve and shows his autographed arm.  Kim asks how is he going to sell the autograph if it's on his arm.  Ron gets angry.

FADE TO BLACK

THE END


End file.
